Friday, August 9, 2013

Why Bisexuals Stay in the Closet

"The coming out process is very different for bisexuals," [Kyle Schickner, a filmmaker and outspoken bisexual activist of 20 years] said. "I probably have to come out every day of my life whether it’s to gays, lesbians or straight people." 
Constantly coming out and explaining one’s identity can get exhausting, and that exhaustion means some bisexuals would rather not even bother. Bisexual men and women not only have to worry about the judgments from their straight friends, but also what their gay and lesbians will think of them as well. They are often stereotyped as really being just gay, stuck in a phase, confused, promiscuous or unfaithful. 
"The people setting the agenda in the LGBT community are mostly gay or lesbian and so the bisexual thing becomes secondary," Schickner said. "There’s still sort of distrust or anger towards bisexuals because they have the ability to enjoy a lot of straight privileges that gay and lesbians don’t enjoy. I think there’s a resentment and sort of a fear. And there’s always an anecdote about getting screwed over by someone who was bisexual and scapegoating bisexuality as the reason the relationship failed." 
He wonders if another reason people aren’t coming out as bisexual is because they’re coming out as newer terms like fluid, polysexual or pansexual. 
"We haven’t defined what it means to be bisexual, really," he said. "And there’s been a lack of really strong leadership in the bi community since the late ’90s."

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