When Parents Discriminate Against Their Kids

I do not have children myself. However, what I do know from friends who are parents is that having kids and watching them grow into being their own person changes how a parent views things they once thought they had a handle on. While parents spend so much time and effort (and money) trying to teach their children they ways of the world, the children have the effect of teaching their parents. Often times, the child can open their parents‘ eyes to a perspective they may not have thought of as viable.

It was a major news story last month when Senator Rob Portman (R-OH) announced his support for marriage equality in the wake of his son Will coming out as gay about two years beforehand. The Senator is certainly not the first person to site a familial connection as the catalyst for supporting LGBT equality, nor will he be the last. Many people - be they public figures or private citizens - who once stood in opposition to equality viewed those issues differently when they could put faces on them as a result of someone close to them coming out of the closet. 

For many people, even such a personal connection as a gay family member is not enough to induce open-mindedness. Case-in-point, Representative Matt Salmon Sr. (R-AZ). Like Portman, Salmon has a gay son (named Matt Jr.). Unlike Portman, Salmon is utterly unmoved on marriage equality, even though he has had more time with an openly gay son than Portman. Even though it takes longer for some folks to come around than others on any given topic, it appears that Rep. Salmon feels no need to make a change regardless of how the policies he advocates negatively effect his own flesh and blood.

What does it say about a parent when they are unable or unwilling to alter their views for the sake of their child‘s freedom and equality under the law? The bottom line is that a parent who is comfortable with the institutionalized discrimination their child faces is a prime example of poor parenting. It is hard to fathom that some people have such an unwavering disregard for the well-being of those they profess to love. On the positive side, in terms of the quest for LGBT equality, evidence points to Representative Salmon being far more the exception while Senator Portman is far more the rule.

Marriage News Watch: March 18, 2013

Republicans, Empathy, and Equality

Some Thoughts on Senator Rob Portman & Equality

This morning, the news spread like wild fire that Senator Robert Portman (R-OH) has formally endorsed marriage equality. Like so many other allies, his change of heart (he had previously been against marriage equality) happened as a result of a very personal connection. In Portman's case, it was his son coming out as gay privately two years ago. Ideally this change of heart would happen from talking to people about their experiences with homophobia, not being able to marry under the law, and the problems associated with those inequities, or simple empathy. The fact of the matter is, however, that all too often it is not until a particular issue hits very close to home that we have our eyes opened and form a more sensible opinion on the matter at hand.

What is important here is that Senator Portman is a Republican and most of the opposition to marriage equality has come from his party. Even so, the GOP is ever so slowly shifting on this issue. Despite the strong influence of the religious right, there is a growing proportion of Republicans who support legal equality for same-sex couples. Earlier this year, many prominent Republicans - many of whom are former congress members, governors, pundits, etc. - signed an amicus brief to the Supreme Court in support of equality. Younger Republicans also have a more inclusive mindset, which will have a growing affect on the party as a whole moving forward. Two sitting congress members openly support the repeal of the so-called Defense of Marriage Act. And now there is Senator Portman, who is the first sitting U.S. Republican senator to endorse marriage equality. To be fair, his endorsement is not exactly complete. He is on record as saying it is better to build a consensus through the democratic process so that "enduring change is forged" versus "judicial intervention" which would (in his estimation) circumvent the democratic process.

As one might expect, Senator Portman is already getting grief from the more socially conservative elements of the conservative movement. A group called "Government is Not God PAC" said in a statement that his gay son will get AIDS, as though that is an inevitability. Bryan Fischer, director of analysis for the so-called American Family Association (considered by many to be a hate group) tweeted the following: "@ gay son, SSM: A father can still love a son who robs a bank without changing his mind about the morality of bank robbing," as though being gay is the same as robbing a bank. Some people will just never learn.

The Republican party being what it is, I do not expect the flood gates to open releasing an avalanche of sitting GOP politicians supporting marriage equality. The countervailing forces are simply to strong for that to be a realistic hope. Let us remember that just this past Summer the GOP platform was strongly against marriage equality. However, maybe this will induce a trickle of support from other GOP politicians and voters. Given existing support, this may tip the balance at what is already a critical juncture in the fight for LGBT equality. If nothing else, Senator Portman's statement reopens the dialogue here an America. This is another opportunity for hearts and minds to be changed, an opportunity to bring more people onto the right side of history, another opportunity to bring America closer to truly being the land of the free.

GOP Senator Evolves On Marriage Equality

From Cleveland.com:

Republican U.S. Sen. Rob Portman on Thursday announced he has reversed his longtime opposition to same-sex marriage after reconsidering the issue because his 21-year-old son, Will, is gay. 

Portman said his son, a junior at Yale University, told him and his wife, Jane, that he's gay and "it was not a choice, it was who he is and that he had been that way since he could remember."

"It allowed me to think of this issue from a new perspective, and that's of a Dad who loves his son a lot and wants him to have the same opportunities that his brother and sister would have -- to have a relationship like Jane and I have had for over 26 years," Portman told reporters in an interview at his office.

The conversation the Portmans had with their son two years ago led to him to evolve on the issue after he consulted clergy members, friends -- including former Vice President Dick Cheney, whose daughter is gay -- and the Bible.

This makes Senator Portman the first sitting U.S. Republican senator to endorse marriage equality.

The Wrap-Up: June 15, 2012

Sheldon Adelson

Board member of the Boys Scouts are sounding off on the organization's ban on gay members.

A Republican strategist (who has worked with McCain and Romney) believes congressional Republicans are rooting against the economy.

Billionaire Sheldon Adelson has said he will bankroll the Romney campaign to the tune of $100,000,000. Who says we need campaign finance reform?

Some Louisiana legislators are all for allowing taxpayer dollars to go to school vouchers for religious schools...unless it's one of those dirty Islamic schools of course.

A study that was NOT bought and paid for by conservative zealots furthers the findings sexual orientation having a biological cause.

Senator Rob Portman (R-OH)

One of the names being batted around for Mitt Romney's running mate is Sen. Robert Portman (R-OH), who isn't exactly for employment discrimination, but isn't exactly against it either. He does a lot of dancing in the accompanying video.

Ignoring a call by the National Organization for Marriage (Discrimination) for corporations to stay neutral in the "culture wars," General Mills has voiced its opposition to Minnesota's proposed marriage equality ban, as well as support for the Employment Non-Discrimination Act.

And lastly, an Evangelical mother writes about the experience of her daughter coming out as a lesbian. Her fellow Evangelicals could learn quite a bit from her.